Dealing with My Fears
Earlier during quarantine, I posted a Instagram caption about my fears.
Dealing with fears..
One of my most recent grappling fears is the failure of rallying a community. A fear that I’m not a good enough leader to get people to show up and take action.
Why is this important?
To make a bigger impact to combat climate change or any change, it requires a large community of people.
Why is this a fear?
The humiliation. gasp the embarrassment you’re not popular.. that you’re not well-liked, that you’re not a person of value. I just imagine an event and no one shows up. While the situation is hypothetical, it makes me freeze. It would mean that I have failed.
I know in my heart it doesn’t matter how big or small the group/influence.
I have to self-validate that my voice is important and reassure myself that I deserved to be heard. My voice trembles, when my voice is suppressed. “Speaking Up” can be scary.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow’”- Mary Anne Radmacher
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Ruth Bader Ginsberg once said, “Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you”
I don’t know what that way is yet exactly. It’s a process of trial and error. It’s about learning the hard skills of organizing and mobilizing.
I just want to put it out here. I don’t post as frequently on my own page across platforms because I’m afraid of being only performative and showing off, instead of making real change.
What if I’m just showing off and not doing the actual meaningful work? LOTS OF OVERTHINKING INVOLVED! I KNOW I SHOULD JUST DO IT! POST IT. Not to overthink too much.
I deal with imposter syndrome, analysis paralysis, and feeling like a hypocrite.
I feel like an imposter/hypocrite because I’m far from perfect when it comes to some sorta unapologetic lifestyle choices I make, like diet, travel, and career. But I am working on the somethings in the background for climate justice and change.
When you overthink and you freeze from all the analysis you’re making. It’s called “Analysis Paralysis.” To solve this issue, you recognize you’re in this state and realize you just need to make a decision. Even though you think it’s not enough analyzing, it probably is enough. Inaction is worse!!
NOTHING would happen with indecision and these feelings/fears keep a hold on you.
There’s this greater purpose that makes me want to overcome my fears and spread promote community and stewardship. Get people to take action.
I still dream of becoming consistent. Overcoming the comparison game.
I’m glad to be able to acknowledge my fears and make some progress. Progress> Perfection.
ACTION ITEM: I encourage you to write out your fears to try and understand them to move forward!
“Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you”